Saturday, July 11, 2015

From Harry

Some days our Pixie is cursed with a bad headache. I’ve had one all day long. It’s mostly a nagging pain in my forehead. My son thinks it sinus related. I’m not so sure. It could be my body’s reaction to a change in diet.

I love food, mostly the foods that are fattening like breads and starchy, fried, boiled, baked, smashed, mashed or whipped potatoes. When I eat breakfast I want toast, or a bagel, or English muffin. I love pancakes and French toast; biscuits covered with sausage gravy. I have never met a doughnut I didn’t like. Do you see a pattern here? Lunch and dinner require biscuits or dinner rolls to sop up the gravy. Even if I am eating a big plate of pasta I want some garlic toast to go with it. Heck, even a salad needs croutons!

All of my doctors have told me that if I want to live a long and happy life I need to lose weight. To put it politely I can be described as a jolly old man with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Unfortunately my arms and legs are like jelly too. Bottom line is I weigh too much.

So we went on a short family vacation this past weekend. Just before we left my wife and I visited a health institute that deals with diet and exercise. We signed up for their program and sat through a video of the first of the weekly lectures. More about that later.

Sunday we drove to a resort called Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg. It’s basically an indoor water park for kids designed around a large, expensive hotel. We figured between my wife and I, my daughter and our son-in-law, and my son and his girlfriend we could handle two four-year-olds. At least that was the plan. After checking into our suite we put on our swimwear and headed to the water park that you access through the rear of the lobby. Did I mention it was a large hotel? Walking from our room to the lobby and back was a full quarter of a mile and that was completely indoors.


As Rachael often says “I’m back. Did you miss me?” I called it quits for the night and went to bed. Now back to our story already in progress. As we figured it took all six of us to hold rein on our Maggie and Corbin. They loved the water park, all the splashing, sliding, and playing in waves was pure pleasure to them. I found the hot tub and relaxed my tired muscles.

Our stay was pleasant enough. Put six adults and two small children in one hotel suite. Stir in a bit of sibling rivalry, a dash of jealousy, and trying to sleep on unfamiliar beds, or worse a “sleep sofa”. We had all the ingredients of a family vacation worthy of Chevy Chase and a trip to Wally World. I’ll just end this part of the story by saying that we are all still talking to each other. No harm – no foul.

Back to story number 1: We joined this weight loss program. We are on a diabetic type diet based on the glycemic index. We don’t have a meal menu to follow, but we have a set of guidelines for how to design our meals for the day. You eat all the meat and vegetables you want within your calorie intake limits, while avoiding other foods with a high glycemic index (see paragraph two). Rather than fixate on the foods (cookies, cakes, pies, candy, etc.) I can’t have, I find myself trying to calculate my lunch menu on my computer, balancing proteins, fiber, carbs, and calories, while striving to end up with something edible.

Diet, of course, is not everything. We have begun an exercise program designed for our needs. Considering my heart condition, as well as my bad knees, I figured they would start me out with remedial macramé, but actually I am doing water exercises three days a week. Water exercises can be fun or at least they should be. You are in a warm (91̊ F) pool of water surrounded mostly by women. Cool, right? That is until you notice that they are all as fat as you are and equally unattractive.

If I was Occasional Reader I would end with a witty poem or maybe some lyrics by Pete Seeger. Unfortunately I’ve run out of thoughts (other than those of chocolate) so goodnight my friends.

1 comment:

  1. An occasional reader12:15 AM

    I like the actress Shelley Winter's comment on weight:

    I'm not over-weight. I'm just nine inches too short...

    At our local pharmacy we used to have a "speak your weight" machine. It's when it said "one at a time please" that you started to worry...