Monday, December 22, 2014

From O. Reader


Some readers of this blog also read Rachael’s serious blog on Watch Tower History. A character named Albert Royal Delmont Jones has been featured there quite a bit recently, in material written by Rachael and a correspondent who calls himself Jerome. What follows is an imagined summary of ARDJ’s life, with a lot of supposition filling in the gaps.


A FANCIFUL LAST TESTAMENT OF ALBERT ROYAL DELMONT JONES

So here I am in this ward. It is the smell more than anything. Stale cabbage, and bad drains. They say we are fortunate to be here – looked after free of charge. Everything is comparative I suppose.

It is the noise – some of these people aren’t right. How did I get here? It could all have been so different.

It started so well. I came from a good family, we owned land, we were respectable. I worked in stores, and handled the money. I was really good with money. I mean – OK – life got expensive and I started to cut corners, but until then, it worked a dream.  And I was attractive to women. You wouldn’t know it looking at me now, but oh yes, they used to go weak at the knees.

First there was Carrie. Quiet, domesticated. But boring though, so boring. We had those children. What were their names? I wonder where they are now?

And that Charles Russell. We started a magazine to tell the world about the coming end of problems. Oh what it was to have faith. But that’s all gone now. I was an editor. I founded my own magazine. It was a good magazine – but when I tried to be a bit more realistic, then some of those people turned against me. We did some good works though. We raised money for good causes. Some of it may have got lost along the way – I can’t remember now – but we meant well. I think.

I’d dropped the Jones by now – a common name, people much preferred the Delmont – in fact, several of my ex-partners even kept it.

And then there was Isabel. The papers called her a “raving beauty”. Hmm. All I can remember today is the “raving.” But we had some fun. Did we have some fun. The parties, the good times – but then the creditors caught up with me. But she was young, she had ambitions. And I started to find her tiring, very tiring. I bet her second husband found her tiring too. Over the years I’ve see her in the newspapers – no, perhaps I was well rid of her.

And then there was Bambina. What a name. What a woman. We had several good scams going. But then somehow she scammed me. I must have been losing my touch. I see she turned up at the Arbuckle trials – accused of bigamy. Did we ever get that divorce? I can’t remember. But Bambie – yes, memories of Bambie – I am sure she bounced back. Bambie always did.

And then Margaret. Well, that was a mistake. We lived with her parents. I told them a tale. They believed it. But it was domesticity again. And it was boring, so boring. And all these younger women I took up with – they all made demands. I got to the point where all I wanted to do was sleep.  It might have been the diabetes. So I did the decent thing – I really did. Faking my death like that, those clothes left on the beach – it meant she could pass herself off as a widow and claim the insurance. Yes, that was a good move. I wonder what happened to her? And her parents? What were their names?

So then it was try and try again. But now I seemed to have lost the touch. The Midas touch. Huh – the Delmont touch. But there was always going to be something else – somewhere over the rainbow. Do you know something? – that would make a good title for a song. If I wasn’t feeling so ill, I could even try and write something like that. It might make another fortune.

If I still had faith and still believed in heaven – but not hell (that’s one thing Charles Russell helped me with) – maybe I would be a bit worried now. But – I don’t know what I believe. All those people, I wonder what happened to them. Do they ever wonder what happened to me?  I’m glad they don’t know. But I’m tired. Maybe there is such a thing as reincarnation, and I can try and do better next time. But do better? What’s that? Be more boring? Make more money and this time keep it? I don’t know. I just feel tired, so tired.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:05 AM

    Hope you recover from your bout of high fever soon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. An occasional reader8:04 AM

    Yup - I'm doing well...

    Not so sure about Albert Delmont though...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mark Gold1:39 PM

    Sorry, but if you want to be taken seriously we MUST have references - paper, date, page, paragraph and line.

    This is the difference between the professional
    and the amateur researcher. If you have no fear of being contradicted, we MUST know your sources. Otherwise I for one must dismiss your comment as lightweight and unsubstantiated.

    ReplyDelete
  4. An occasional reader2:54 PM

    I have every expectation of being contradicted - particularly if evidence ever surfaces to substantiate an alternative scenario. For references on what IS known, of course read the serious articles on the serious blog.

    For something that is deliberately lightweight and unsubstantiated - you have come to the right place here. So by all means dismiss away. I doubt that Albert Delmont would have believed we'd still be talking about him all these years later.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Blogspot does not like me to send comments from my cell phone. I tried to write earlier today.

    If Rachael wrote history like you have written this amusing piece it would be much more fun to read. Alas it would not be necessarily accurate, but I sometimes think accuracy is highly overrated. After all close is good enough for hand grenades!

    Merry Christmas to all my blog friends.

    ReplyDelete
  6. An occasional reader10:23 PM

    Hi Harry

    There's an old adage about not letting facts get in the way of a good story.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Compliments Jerome. I see an experienced writer, a man of great talent. I suppose that in the past you wrote many times.

    ReplyDelete