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posted by Sha'el, Princess of Pixies | 5:02 PM
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field.The Englishman says "Look at that fine English cow."The Irishman disagreed, saying "No, it's an Irish cow."The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. "No, it's a Scottish cow - it's got bagpipes underneath!"
"Ah, Kyla, drinking makes you look so bonnie.""But Donald, I dinna drink!""But I do!"
An exchange between Winston Churchill and MP Bessie Braddock:- Winston, you're drunk!- Bessie, you're ugly. But to-morrow I shall be sober....
Every Scotsman's fantasy is to have two women....one cleaning, the other dusting...
"I don’t exercise. If god had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor" – Joan Rivers
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